Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The more things change the more they stay the same

You know the old saying about opposites attracting?

Well no truer words have even been spoken when describing my husband and myself. 

Time was I was an evening person and he was a morning person.  Somehow over the past twenty years we seemed to have swapped those roles.  

In the beginning he was the money man.  He took care of the bills and the check book and I was fine with that.  During an interesting two years where he lived on the road for his job that responsibility fell to me.  After he was back home, and no longer wandering for work I kept the job.  Why?  I really have no idea.

Our roles have always been pretty clearly defined in our relationship and I don't mean he gets to wear the pants, as long as I get to pick them out.  Even though he does and I do.  But it dawned on me today that this really is a great example of the more things change the more they stay the same.

We have a great harmony in our lives that we have cultivated over a twenty year period.  On the days that his temper spikes I am right there to be little Miss Sunshine and on the days that I feel my head about ready to pop nobody and I mean nobody can bring me down faster. 

When I think of how I have spent the last almost quarter of a century and how different my life would have been if I had made even one different choice I find myself getting a little romantic and waxing poetic about destiny.  So many things could have turned out differently.  

While my life may be small in comparison to others, I find that I am okay with that.  Am I where I want to be right now in the life I had planned for myself all those years ago when I was a kid growing up in the inner city of Baltimore? Oddly enough, it wasn't the life I saw for myself but exactly the one I want.  I find that I wouldn't trade it or him for anything.  No, he's not perfect, but he is perfect for me and for some reason I just wanted to share that with you guys today.

So.  Married?  In a long term relationship?  What is it about you and your significant other that had kept it going.  I find that I really do want to know.


Candyland said...

Hmm. We laugh a lot. Mostly at each other. But we are opposites in almost every way possible. I think they do attract.

Jessica Lemmon said...

First off, congrats on twenty years! It's a great accomplishment too withstand the same person for that amount of time... *tee-hee*

Yes, married, 12 yrs in October. I think the fact that we talk, constantly, about every little stupid thing that happens, and we prioritize time together. Though I have days where I go out with my friends or he golfs, we mostly go out together with OUR friends. That keeps us close. :-)

abby mumford said...

to quote you, "it wasn't the life I saw for myself but exactly the one I want." lovely. and hopefully that's where i'm headed, because right now, still single, it's now what i want/saw for myself, but perhaps, ultimately, it is what i want. time will tell.

Patty Blount said...

Hm. I have to think about this. My husband and I will celebrate 25 years on November 2nd. It occurs to me, reading your post, that I've taken much for granted. He's the money guy; I can't be trusted with it. I'm the reasonable, easy going one; he's Mount Vesuvius over spilled milk.


Linda G. said...

Hmm. Let's almost *counts on fingers, runs out, starts on toes* almost 30 years "long term"?

Things work out pretty well when you marry your best friend. We're neither one of us perfect (thank goodness!), but, as you say, perfect for each other. We not only understand each other's flaws, but we actually find them entertaining. ;)

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