Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Reasons to be sad

Yesterday I got some pretty bad news.
Rocky, my "oldest" has been diagnosed with kidney disease. 

I'm heartbroken.  He has been with us since he was a kitten and found by a co-worker in a box in a Wal-mart parking lot.  

I just don't have it in me to try and be happy today.  I don't have it in me to be perky today.  All I really want to do is curl up with him and pet him and tell him everything is going to be alright.  Only it's not going to be.  His is pretty advanced and while the vet didn't give us a timeline, we had to make some changes to his diet immediately.  I can pretty much tell you I will be spending my weekend researching this to see what we can do to prolong his life.  

At some point yesterday I had a friend say to me, "He's a cat."  As if the fact that he is only a pet should have made me feel better.  It didn't.  He's my cat.  He has lived with me for 13 years and has been a trusted friend.  When I worked outside of the home he would meet me at the door everyday and tell me about his day as I headed into my room to change into comfy clothes.  His purr has quieted over the years going from a jet engine type of sound to a softer motor-boat putting around the bay, but when it is time to say good-bye to him it will be hard.

I am not going to spend the time left fixating on the fact that he won't always be here because that was inevitable anyway.  I am going to make sure I enjoy the moments we do have left and spend as much quality time with his as I can.


Karla Nellenbach said...

oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. I had a similar situation with my cat about four years ago. He'd suddenly developed kidney stones and in the course of two days, he went from normal kitty to barely hanging on. Thankfully, he made it through the ensuing surgery and vet stay, but it was so scary, and I just wanted to smack all those people who said, "I don't know why you're so upset. It's just a cat." No, he's my baby.

You (and Rocky) will be in my thoughts and prayers.

abby mumford said...

i'm not a pet person, but even i understand how valuable an animal/human relationship can be. i'll keep you and rocky in my thoughts. here's hoping your remaining time together is filled with more sunshine than not.

Patty Blount said...

Oh, no! I am so sorry to hear this, Kelly! I have not had furry pets since I was a kid (my son is allergic), but my cat, Friskie, died of this, too. I still miss him.

Spoil and cuddle him as much as you want. You're right to enjoy such moments.

Sending hugs,

Linda G. said...

Aw, man. That sucks. I'm so sorry. *hugs*

cnelady said...

I am with Karla on wanting to smack the people that say "He's a cat". The dogs I have had in my life have lasted longer than my relationships and are/were the constant companion in my life. BTW Kelly, I was led here by my-coworker that fixed your pc last weekend. I love your writing and you and Rocky will be in my thoughts! Hug, Jean