Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Unanswered Prayers

As you all know by now I am married to my best friend and the love of my life.

Last night we were watching a movie called Our Family Wedding and I had an epiphany.  First I should say this was a great movie.  Premise: Basically in the weeks leading up to this young couples wedding is rife with stress and comic relief especially as their fathers are feuding.  It is in no way a Romeo and Juliet type of story but a great watch none the less.

When I met Captain Kid we were both stationed in Okinawa Japan doing time in the Navy.  Nah, I am kidding I loved the Navy.  It wasn't like doing time at all.  Not really.  Okay, sometimes it was like doing time.  But after I met my very own McDreamy all that changed.

When we said our "I do's", okay we didn't actually say I do.  It was more or less an ancient Japanese women came out of the Mayor's office handed us our paperwork and told us to have a great life.  When I asked her when the ceremony was going to be she shook her head and mumbled something like "Ah, these Americans."  

Turns out when you get married over seas by a Justice of the Peace who is really not a Justice of the Peace you just have to sign a lot of documents and get everything translated from English to Kanji and back again.

When we were first talking about getting married we didn't see it happening for at least two more years because we would need that long to save the  money for my "dream" wedding.  I knew exactly what kind of wedding I wanted.  Hey I am female, of course I knew.  I even had the dress already designed.  Yes I do have many talents.  Instead it was time for him to rotate and orders were being cut and the only way we were going to be assured orders together was if we were indeed married.  *sigh* 

So to make a long story short we shelved the big wedding and decided to do it right there in Japan.  Our wedding was very low key.  Just us and our attendants which consisted of his best man Ray, and my maid of honor, Eric.  (Did I mention I always got along better with the guys?) 

If we had planned the big wedding with our families back in the states I don't know how that would have effected our first years of marriage.  To say that my mother-in-law and I don't see eye to eye is an understatement and the planning of the wedding would have been a disaster.  I can clearly see that now.  No one would have been happy.  We didn't have a Catholic ceremony which bothered my Gram right up until the day she passed away and we would not have gotten married in his hometown which I learned after the deal was done that was expected.

And last night for the first time I was truly glad that prayer went unanswered.  Our wedding was small but our party was big.  Friends from section and neighbors who joined us for what they thought was a house warming party, which turned out to be our wedding reception.  We had a bar-b-que and plenty of drinks and dancing.  There were no expectation to fulfill except our own and we were both extremely happy.  I wonder how much different it all would have been if we had the wedding I originally wanted to begin with?

So are there any unanswered prayers you are thankful for?


Karla Nellenbach said...

oh...i'm sure there are a few, but I can't think of anything right off hand...I will say this though. My inbox is woefully empty. hint hint

Linda G. said...

What? No picture of Eric in his Maid of Honor dress? I'm so disappointed.

I have plenty of unanswered prayers to be thankful for--like all those times in high school I prayed certain guys would be "forever." After I met TG, I was supremely grateful God hadn't answered those prayers. ;)

Patty Blount said...

Yes and this is a long rambling explanation. I have two sons. Were it left up to me, I'd have had six or seven kids because I adore babies. I had uneventful pregnancies, easy deliveries and big healthy babies. I was born for this!

But my husband was done at 2. Because they were both sons, resentment flourished in my heart. Sure, he's done because he's already gotten his little NASCAR and fishing buddies, little mini-men to rough-house with.

I never got the little girl to dress in ribbons and lace, to shop with, to paint nails with.

My babies are grown now and when the boys get their Y chromosomes crankin', I have to leave them to it, so I find myself odd man out. I shop alone. I do my own nails. I smile and awww at the adorable tiny pink clothes but leave them on their racks.

It was with enormous happiness that I finally convinced my husband to have one more baby. We tried for months and... nothing happened. This was weird. I'd had no trouble conceiving before.

I think it was because in my heart, I knew I'd have been just a little disappointed to have had a third son.

As my sons got older and I learned to enjoy them for who they are. I live vicariously through relatives and friends having babies and leaned something else about myself. At my age, I no longer have the patience to raise babies. I like being able to drive without car seats, to leave my house without enough gear for a 4-day trip. I like sleeping through the night. I like no longer needing to hire sitters.

Perhaps God realized this as well, and that's why I never had that third child. I'm no longer disappointed by what I lack and instead, proud to bursting of what I do.

LReneeS said...

Awww, this is such a lovely post, Kelly.

Hmm, it's an interesting question. I'm certain there are but as of this very moment I can't think of any that specifically come to mind.

Candyland said...

I suppose it's a "good" thing my prayer for Matt Brady's baby has gone unanswered:/