Sometimes I really can't handle the heat

I love to cook.  It relaxes me.  My kitchen is my sanctuary.

I got mad skills too.

This past weekend I decided that I wanted Mexican.  (To clarify, the type of food and not a type of guy.)

Fajitas to be exact. 

I didn't have any salsa.  I had everything I needed to make one, but decided since I had some fresh pineapple to make a sweet pineapple salsa instead. Yes, you guessed it, I am a chance taker. 

I found a pretty easy recipe on the Internet.

1/2 of a pineapple.
1 small red onion.
2 tablespoons cilantro
2 tablespoons of lemon juice
2 jalapeño peppers diced.
Salt and pepper to taste.

Okay, I am willing to take chances when it comes to ingredients.  In fact I will try anything once.  But I am not crazy about hot stuff.  I want to be able to taste my food and when there is a lot of heat in something I find that it stops my taste buds from working correctly.  So in anticipation of that I only added 1/2 of 1 jalapeño to the salsa.  

It looked beautiful.  It smelled beautiful.  

The taste?

Hmmm, how can I describe this in a way that makes complete sense and paints a picture.  

There was no taste.  None at all.  There was just heat.  Heat.  Hot.  Hot.  More heat.  All I felt was heat.  Too much heat.  It was so bad that I wanted to cut my own lips off.  And to top it off, I had no milk.  Luckily I remembered a container of Oikos Greek pineapple yogurt was sitting in the back of my fridge.  Thank you John Stamos for being so damn cute I bought your yogurt and had it on hand.  I was in pain for almost 30 minutes (which actually felt more like days that passed in a haze of pain and suffering) until I started to get relief from the dairy.

But the best part, and I can't even believe I am putting this out there, was when I got into the shower.  I thought I had washed all of the heat from the jalapeño off of my hands, turns out,  I was wrong.  And I don't even want to go into how I know I was wrong or what I touched that I later needed to slather yogurt over to get the burning to stop.  Trust me that is one mental picture you really don't need or want.  

Trust me.